Family Reunion

Emy's Number Nine

 Emily celebrated her birthday simply this year.  Since it is typically on the last weekend of the summer her friend parties aren't well attended because families are trying to squeeze in their last bit of summer fun.  So this year she had a lateover with a friend and had fun tumbling at Randy's Adventure Time.  We headed to the new ice cream shop nearby and then came home for the simplest "ice cream cake" ever.  It doesn't take much to please my girl.  I was hoping to surprise her with a keyboard, because she wants to be able to practice piano early in the morning or late at night without waking everyone up.  But being the cautious gift giver that I am, I showed it to her before making the purchase.  She considered getting her ears pierced, because she was hesitant to do it last year because of gymnastics, but she instead chose to get a pair of clip on earrings and a doll (for about 1/4 the price of the keyboard) and was thrilled to also get a movie that Becca spotted for her at the thrift store a few months ago.

Facing Her Fears

 Alyssa was too nervous to count  to 10 at her Kindergarten/screening and orientation, even though she counted to 39 that morning.  But she eventually displayed some of her reading and math skills for the teacher and left clinging fiercely to my arm.

So not surprisingly,  she was not too excited for her first day of Kindergarten either. But fortunately she has a super nice, calm teacher even though all of her neighborhood/church friends were placed in the other class.  Eventually I coaxed her to stay despite her tears with a promise to go on a special outing after school and I held back my tears until after I left the classroom.  I felt so grateful for her friend Claire who played with her at all 3 recesses and her awesome big brother Dan who sat by her on the bus.  On her first day her favorite parts were the educational videos, the Pete the Cat Story and playing at recess.  Fortunately she left happily to the bus stop with her big brother Dan the next day and was perfectly behaved when I came to help at centers later.

These milestones make me reflect on the moments of the past when I held my sweet little girl and enjoyed rocking her ...

 looked at her chubby little fingers...

 and her innocent bright eyed wonder.
Back then I thought she might be my last baby, and I was saddened a bit at ending chapters in my life.

She's lucky to still have a nice helper big bro. to help her with the transition.  Instead of sitting with her friends, he sat by her Since I was a bit late capturing the bus photo, all I caught was  this pic of Dan holding her pink and purple backpack for her.

Fun Friday - History Museum

 Emily decided she wants to keep doing K12 home school this year.  I love how she can move ahead at her own pace, and spend more time exploring music and her new ventures in Spanish, and I get to be more involved in her life and education. Since she's already 25% done with her math and science courses we have a bit more freedom in our daily schedule. Once her weekly lessons are complete we celebrate with "Fun Friday" field trips or activities.  So this week we headed to the local History Museum and then enjoyed the last days of summer weather with a picnic at the park.
 

The kids were delighted to find this little fort under the shrubs.  Josh "defended" them from the enemies with his stick gun.

I thought this clever use of "junk" farm equipment was pretty fun, but hopefully it won't feed Alyssa's passion for hoarding.  Lately while I've been trying to declutter, she's been retrieving junk from our garbage can (like cardboard containers, broken drain gutters, empty milk cartons and other random trash) and stowing it away.  She's pretty insistent and tearful about us not taking her garbage away to the dump.  She still won't let us forget the broken bike that Jared discarded about a month ago.  She claims tearfully that it has sentimental value because it reminds her of her friend across the street, even though it doesn't work and she has 2 other functioning bikes!

 When we arrived at the museum, we were the only patrons, which meant my kids got to get more firsthand experience with the mountain man tour guide as they tried to "escape from a beaver trap" and "prepare the horseshoes" in the blacksmith shop.

Our last stop was the library.  It was hard to pull Joshua away from their new train table.  Sending my last little guy off to school in a couple of years is going to be a sad day for me!

Despair and Delight

I feel so blessed for Rebecca's increased maturity and helpfulness.  A few days ago when she could tell I was struggling, she spontaneously offered to take the kids on a nature walk so I could rest and regroup.  I love how fun she is with kids and it has been a joy to watch her as she teaches her beginning piano students.
 Lately I've been feeling a roller coaster of emotions.  When I see things like dirty dishes,videos on the floor and  children playing video games with undone chores and food on the carpeted area, I used to feel annoyed, but lately my internal rage and negative thoughts have intensified and I spiral downward into the depths of despair.  I want to be alone.  I start to have resentful thoughts about my children, and I am not a happy person.  I have a hard time sleeping or shutting off my brain at night.

Earlier this week when I experienced these strong feelings and spiraling thoughts, I knew I'd just toss and turn for hours, so instead I decided to read something inspiring to change my mindset.  Although  my mood was creating struggles in my family relationships, as I scanned the topics in the Ezra Taft Benson manual, I knew that topics like "The Sacred Calling of Mothers and Fathers" or "Living Joyfully in Troubled Times" would only make me feel more inadequate and guilty for falling short in my current frame of mind, so instead I felt inspired to read this message on Pride by Ezra Taft Benson.
It was the perfect message for me.  As I read ...
“Pride is characterized by ‘What do I want out of life?’ rather than by ‘What would God have me do with my life?’ It is self-will as opposed to God’s will. 
I thought about my desires of the day.
I wanted my family to find their own food and take care of their own needs, so I could do family history. I wanted a break from cleaning.  I wanted to stay home when my husband asked me to go on a walk with him to the park.  I wanted to sit on the bench instead of interacting with people.  I wanted to wait until tomorrow to help my neighbor.  I wanted to relax and play piano.
Ironically, I taught a lesson earlier that day on "Good, Better, Best."  None of my wants were "bad," some were very good, but this quote reminded me that I wasn't choosing "best."
“Humility responds to God’s will—to the fear of His judgments and to the needs of those around us.
And my focus on what I wanted created feelings of enmity towards my family.
The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.
I prayed, I cried, I listened to my favorite inspiring music, and then I had a good night's sleep committing to do be more humble the next day.

I think part of my emotional swings are due hormonal changes, and my intense feelings probably won't disappear anytime soon.  But I know my own choices and what I choose to focus on can definitely help me live with more peace and happiness each day.
Yesterday was filled with a lot of nostalgic moments with my children, partly because I didn't choose to do what "I wanted."
Often when I take my kids to the park for lunch, I choose to stay in the car and read my scriptures and enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet.  But since Rebecca was at girls camp and the older boys chose to stay at home, I joined the kids for lunch and lingered longer to let them climb trees, even though I wanted to read my book.
 

 

Flexing & Spying

Then we headed to the library where they happened to have this fun display that allows even the blind to experience animals up close.

It's okay to touch the animals!  (A cool exhibit that comes to our library each year)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alyssa magnetic creation while learning about trapezoids, equilateral  & isosceles triangles

 

 

When we came home Jacob had been cooking with his friend, and although I wanted clean kitchen, it makes me happy to see him hanging out with friends, deepening his knowledge of fractions and entertaining us with his "cooking show" video episodes.

 

I definitely had a more delightful day when I didn't always do what "I Wanted."