What Really Matters?

This morning when I heard the knock on my bedroom door at 6:20 a.m. I wanted to ignore it.  I wasn't ready to get up and dive into how to divide negative exponents to help Jacob who needed help preparing for yet another math test, learning concepts that 99% of the population will actually never need to use in real life. But I pushed through the fatigue and helped him.  After an hour I had relearned all of the concepts for his test, but could see that it was still not sticking for him. As he left feeling a bit discouraged, I reassured him that it would be okay.  The driver's ed concepts that he had gotten up at 5 to review were going to matter much more and be more applicable to his life than this algebra ever would.

After the rush of  everyone getting out the door I contemplated, a principle from a talk I recently listened to by Elder Quentin Cook.  In The Gospel and the Good Life, he contrasted resume virtues vs. eulogy virtues.

"The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral."  He contrasted two friend's funerals he attended who he named, "Rich" and "Faithful" I loved his description of "Faithful." "Though he faced trials, including the death of a son in World War II, he achieved satisfaction and joy throughout his life because of the purpose and meaning provided by his family and the gospel of Jesus Christ."  It made me think of my "faithful" dad and my son.

Traditional school tests and retaining a multiple of math formulas does not come easy to Jacob.  So his "resume" may not have the highest GPA and his math skills are probably not going to make him a rich millionaire.  But I love his persistent determination to keep trying, his optimism and faith and his unique ability to face stress and pressure with a positive attitude. These past few weeks have been incredibly busy for him.  Attending physical therapy has cut into his homework time.  The week his online driver's ed course began.  The site had technical difficulties the first 2 days and he also has his Eagle Scout Blood Drive which he spent almost 3 hours each night calling to find recruits and coordinating with the Red Cross.  As a result he fell behind in Driver's Ed and his teacher recommended he drop it and take the summer course.  But instead he has pushed through staying up late and getting up early to do double the workload for this week to catch up in an already fast-paced course.

So although my fears of having to pay for another course have abated, that's not what really matters.  What really matters is not whether or not he passes math or driver's ed.  What really matters is the eulogy virtues that he is forging through facing difficulty.  When I sat at the check-in table at his blood drive and listened to him confidently calling donors to remind them of appointments and "training" other scouts on what he needed to them to do, my mind did a flashback to his kindergarten years and I had one of those parenting paybacks as I saw how my sweet shy tow-headed little guy has grown into a competent young man who now inspires me to face life with more faith.

First Day of Kindergarten

"In the worst of circumstances, when everything else crumbles, family and the gospel of Jesus Christ are the essentials."