Gifts, Tricks and Music March 2018

 Joshua was super excited to pick out these birthday gifts with the cash his grandparents mailed him. 

 
 When we made a trip down to visit my family in March the kids were amazed by this trick my dad taught them where they punctured a balloon with a skewer and it didn't pop.  Joshua is my child with no fear that was totally eager to try again and again.

 Joshua also prepared for his Let's Play Music Recital, but he ended up getting sick that day and had to miss it.  He has a bit of love/hate relationship with piano.  He loves the rewards I give him for practicing and sometimes thoroughly seems to enjoy his developing talent, especially when he can show it off to others, but more often he puts up a fight and I can see that my last chance of having a child who intrinsically just loves to play piano is starting to fade as he definitely prefers sports over music... but I haven't given up hope yet!  Its a bit ironic that my sister who hated piano and quit is raising a bunch of musical boys, while my children would rather go down the path she took of quitting.

Joshua Wrestling Spring 2018

 Joshua tells me he likes the "thing"(wrestling) dad picked for him a lot better than what I picked for him (Let's Play Music).

Piano Composition Festival 2018

 This year I had my piano students compose songs for the composition festival.  They were all pretty excited, except for my own children who did not enjoy learning to play their own songs after, but I loved the creative results and promised an ice cream reward at the end. At the festival recital they were then able to perform them and receive some suggestions from a professional film score writer, Jordan S Roper.

Not a Farmer's Wife

Last night we had a fun family night going on a tour of the animal facilities at the local college.  I thought we'd just be seeing the baby piglets, but we saw a whole lot more.... and it's a good thing because the smell of the pigpen was so powerful I couldn't stay in for long without gagging! I was definitely not cut out to be a farmer's wife.  Apparently, we have more farmgirls than farmboys in our family though. Jacob, Daniel and I mostly kept our distance from the animals, but the girls were eager to catch chickens, pet the calves and hold the pigs. It made me think of a school assignment Rebecca brought home in kindergarten or first grade where she indicated that what she wanted to be when she grew up was "a farmer's wife."

Joshua was fearless and let the baby calve suck on his fingers.

 

 

 Big mamma of 16 little pigs!

When You Feel "Winless"

After my dad heard that Jacob was defeated in both of his wrestling matches at the state, he sent a personal message in the mail to him. Yesterday Jacob read the "Knight's Notes" which included this insightful quote.
"To the man in the Arena"
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
-Theodore Roosevelt


I especially love the phrase"the triumph of high achievement." Only a select few earn the title of 'undefeated' or #1, but the real reward of personally excelling in academics, sports, in music, or any other endeavor is the satisfaction of knowing that you gave it your all, you pushed yourself to conquer hard things and improved yourself.  Comparison can be the thief of joy unless we can shift our perspective to see the triumph of achievement amidst our defeats.
I'm grateful for a dad who takes time to teach my children from afar some of the same life lessons he instilled in me as he posted and shared inspiring thoughts throughout our home when I was a child.

Never Enough

I was sweeping the kitchen floor during the peaceful moments after the crazy rush of getting all the kids out the door to school.  Those few hours of quiet solitude are something I look forward to each day, even if it means that I'm left to pick up the pieces from the chaos of a morning of lunches thrown together, spilled breakfast cereal, last night's dishes still in the sink because the child with that chore had a lot of homework,  and yet another toothbrush left out on the bathroom counter.  Somehow what I envisioned "motherhood" as being when I dreamt of it as a child is a little different from the reality that I wake up to each day. The inspiring talks and music from BYU Radio playing in the background while I clean are my therapy that usually soothes my soul.

But on this day, the radio wasn't on yet, and the words of "Never Enough" (from the Greatest Showman) kept swirling in my mind as I reflected on some events of the week and my own inadequacies as a mother.  The tears started to stream down my face.

Ideals and Change

I was irritated by something someone did this week.  Unfortunately, I let them know when I was still in the heat of emotion.  Then I allowed some critical thoughts and justifications in my defense to unleash in my mind and my feelings of misery only deepened.  With all of negative thoughts and feeling stirring inside my mind, I couldn't go to sleep that night and I felt a headache coming on.  I knew from experience that if I didn't do something to quit the cycle of negativity inside... I wouldn't be able to sleep for hours.  So I quietly snuck out of bed to retreat into my "sanctuary," my piano room.  I opened this book to the chapter where I had left off earlier that day during my peaceful hours when I enjoy the quiet house all to myself and get rejuvenated for the day.  The inspiring mixture of scriptures, quotes from literature and church leaders were the perfect antidote for my despair.

The bookmark fell open to the next chapter and the topic was REPENTANCE.  These words start to melt my defenses.
"A man will do almost anything before he will honestly and frankly face and confess his own mistakes and blunders and sins.  He will blame others first, or unavoidable circumstances, or rationalize and justify his actions -- almost every excuse, before he will turn in on himself for a clear look at self-love, unjustifiable pride, or an unpayable debt of guilt for some wrong done to another."
I could see this happening in me.  Somehow in a matter of hours I had gone from "the Best Mom Ever" (according to Alyssa who earlier in the day was thoroughly enjoying homemade brownies and a movie for our Mom-date)... to feeling like a complete failure.
Another quote jumped out at me.
"As soon as repentance stops, progress stops." - Eldred G. Smith
There are moments when I compare my "now-self" to my high school self and wonder if I am making adequate progress.  It was a lot easier back then for me to be patient, organized, clean and kind when I was just responsible for myself.  My circumstances are different now and at times I struggle to measure up to the ideals that I am aiming for as a neighbor, parent, spouse, child, and friend.  This quote got me reflecting on the question "What do I need to change?"  because repentance is simply change.
"...whenever a civilization is faced with a new and fundamental challenge, there is only one thing that can save it from decline and fall--its men and women must change their habits of thought to meet the challenge.  Either they meet their new world with new thinking, or they go under." - W.T. Holliday

To repent is to change one's mind or one's heart with regard to past or intended action, conduct, etc. on account of regret or dissatisfaction. - David O. McKay

The next chapter was "THANKSGIVING."  It made me think of my friend Mandy who this past Sunday joyously testified of how good God is to us in our afflictions and expressed gratitude for the miracles in her life despite the fact that her husband had undergone major surgery after chopping off some fingers and their family has experienced other difficult challenges at the same time.
"The grateful heart is not only the greatest virtue but the parent of all others." - Cicero
A string of grateful thoughts started filling my mind as I began to reflect on the blessings I do have instead of what I wish were different.
Take what God gives, O heart of mine, 
And build your house of happiness.
Perchance some have been given more;
But many have been given less.
B.Y. Williams

If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. (John 15: 11)

It was approaching midnight and I was beginning to feel much more peace after this "book therapy" but the title of the next chapter kept me up just a little longer... JOY.
Brigham Young put it in words like bullets: "What are we here for? To learn to enjoy more, and to increase in knowledge and in experience."
So many of the words from this chapter resonated with me.
"Progress is... a process of adding to that which we now possess, by the elimination of errors, by the actual accretion of new truth and by the development of greater self-mastery.  It is a steady approach to the likeness of God. - John A. Widstoe
I thought of some phrases from this primary song that is the theme for the lesson I am teaching this week.

My life is a gift...

My life has a purpose...

I will follow God’s plan for me,

Holding fast to His word and His love.

I will work, and I will pray;

I will always walk in His way.

Then I will be happy on earth

And in my home above.

"From all life's joys and sorrows, we gain insight or bitterness, wisdom or rebellion, understanding or frustration, reconciliation or despair."

We are not compelled to live with gloom fear and doubt.  We can look on the sunny side, and walk there too.

The next chapter, LOVE tempted me to stay up longer, but I returned to quietly to my bed with these new thoughts stirring in my head and a new resolve to change the lens of how I see my life.

"It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or carve a statue and make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look - to affect the quality of the day. That is the highest of arts." - Henry Thoreau

The formula for happiness is simple.

REPENTANCE+THANKSGIVING=JOY